I like to think of myself as someone who shrugs off things pretty easily, but when I read this post about the second arrow, it reminded me that I have some particularly bad memories that I run over and over through my mind. I wonder if I can explain it with science. Is there something in our DNA that makes us relive painful moments to keep reminding us to avoid these situations in the future? Those genes must have kept our ancestors from repeating stupid mistakes and allowed them to live and pass their genes on to us. I just want to tell my DNA that I have learned my lesson and that it doesn't need to keep reminding me. I don't need to keep suffering the same bad memories so just stop reminding me. But I think trauma gets hardwired into our memories and maybe it will never leave. Maybe we just need coping mechanisms like your second arrow reminders to consciously turn off the bad noise. I think I will try that. Thanks for sharing.
I’m with you on that. There’s definitely something to be said for thinking about how you could have handled a situation better as a learning experience when encountering a similar situation in the future. I don’t think I need that lesson at 2:00 am when I’m lying in bed trying to fall back asleep.
LOVED this piece of writing and I too recently encountered the "second arrow" wisdom. It's profound. So glad you shared it this morning, as I will carry this wisdom into the week. Your writing and explorations are a balm for others, Aaron. May knowing this be a balm for you.
I like to think of myself as someone who shrugs off things pretty easily, but when I read this post about the second arrow, it reminded me that I have some particularly bad memories that I run over and over through my mind. I wonder if I can explain it with science. Is there something in our DNA that makes us relive painful moments to keep reminding us to avoid these situations in the future? Those genes must have kept our ancestors from repeating stupid mistakes and allowed them to live and pass their genes on to us. I just want to tell my DNA that I have learned my lesson and that it doesn't need to keep reminding me. I don't need to keep suffering the same bad memories so just stop reminding me. But I think trauma gets hardwired into our memories and maybe it will never leave. Maybe we just need coping mechanisms like your second arrow reminders to consciously turn off the bad noise. I think I will try that. Thanks for sharing.
I’m with you on that. There’s definitely something to be said for thinking about how you could have handled a situation better as a learning experience when encountering a similar situation in the future. I don’t think I need that lesson at 2:00 am when I’m lying in bed trying to fall back asleep.
LOVED this piece of writing and I too recently encountered the "second arrow" wisdom. It's profound. So glad you shared it this morning, as I will carry this wisdom into the week. Your writing and explorations are a balm for others, Aaron. May knowing this be a balm for you.
Thank you for your positivity. It does provide meaning to my writing to hear that it is inspiring to you.